Welcome to this space. No matter your experiences or perspectives on kink/BDSM, there is something for you here. UNKINKED is a philosophy for engaging with systemic patterns of trauma and oppression using the framework of BDSM. I discovered my local BDSM community in 2015, and it quickly became clear
Rage-sadism turned outward is the dissociated pain of ways we’ve been harmed.
It can be uncomfortable to accept the ways our entire nervous system has been trained to be thrilled by cruelty (and often numbed to pleasure).
In case you didn't know: Systems of domination and submission (and bondage, and pain, and restriction...) are what is "normal." What is truly taboo... is defying these oppressive structures and untangling the ways they have invaded our most intimate inner realities.
I watched Severence months ago and I'm still obsessed. The show revolves around the idea of, what if it were possible to sever the connection between your work self and who you are in your personal life? It’s one of those accidental dissociation representation shows, because the
Welcome to this space. No matter your experiences or perspectives on kink/BDSM, there is something for you here. UNKINKED is a philosophy for engaging with systemic patterns of trauma and oppression using the framework of BDSM. I discovered my local BDSM community in 2015, and it quickly became clear
we've had hundreds of years of an ongoing unconscious centering of male desire... manifesting as a fetishisizing of domination and a capitalist patriarchy-turned-daddy.
Rage-sadism turned outward is the dissociated pain of ways we’ve been harmed.
When thinking about kinks as existential knots, gender is an easy example to begin unraveling. Gender is used here to mean a facet of identity relating to one's body and perception of its role. This relationship of gender is both personal and collective. Our circumstances of inhabiting a
It can be uncomfortable to accept the ways our entire nervous system has been trained to be thrilled by cruelty (and often numbed to pleasure).
How do you learn to love your wounds all the way closed?
Choosing to control or be controlled has more to do with survival than it has to do with power.
We don't have to survive the ways we learned to as children. We can reject the culture of domination that has trained us to play by rules that were always meant to keep us small and afraid.
When we can acknowledge honestly where BDSM is a reflection of the abusive dominator culture we live in, we can navigate it much more safely and ethically.
Capitalism LOVES that people love domination. The BDSM practice of eroticizing loss of agency trains us to look outside ourselves for control, validation, security, moral guidance, satisfaction. Trains us to measure ourselves by the feelings we can extract from other people. Humans are kept hungry this way. Restless and craving.
Being in partnership with someone who can't or won't be your equal becomes tiresome.